On Etiquette 論禮儀

Etiquette to society what apparel is to indivual. Without apparel men would go in shameful nudity which would surely lead to the corruption of moral ,and without etiquette society would be in a pitiful state and the necessary intercourse between its members would be interfered with by needless offences and troubles. If society were a train, the etiquette would be the rails along which only the train could rumble forth; if society were a state coach , the etiquette would be the wheels and axis on which only the coach would roll forward. The lack of proprieties would make the most intimate friends turn to the most deced enemies and the friendly or allied countries declare war against each other. We can find many examples in the history of mankind. Therefore, I advise you to stand on ceremony before anyone else and take pains not to do anything against etiquette lest you give offences or make enemies.

禮儀之與社會(huì)，猶如服飾之與個(gè)人。不著服飾，人們將裸體而行；不顧廉恥，終將導(dǎo)致道德敗壞；丟棄禮儀，社會(huì)將陷于沉淪，個(gè)人間日常交往將充斥不必要之氣惱與麻煩。若社會(huì)是火車，禮儀便是其賴以隆隆前行的鐵軌；若社會(huì)是馬車，禮儀便是其籍以滾滾前進(jìn)的輪軸。沒有禮儀，密友將成死敵，盟國(guó)相互宣戰(zhàn)。人類歷史中，其例不勝枚舉。寄語讀者，切記謙恭待人，殫精竭慮，勿違禮儀，以免出言冒犯，招致仇敵。

附禮儀故事三則：

第一則：一位學(xué)校領(lǐng)導(dǎo)向教師們介紹新來的美國(guó)老師

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm delighted to introduce to you a very pretty girl, Miss Brown. She is a very good teacher from the USA.

對(duì)這番話，美國(guó)女教師一臉難堪的樣子。

文化差異：中國(guó)人介紹來賓，喜歡用褒揚(yáng)的話語言辭。但美國(guó)人認(rèn)為，初次結(jié)識(shí)，相互介紹，不必評(píng)頭論足。凡是主觀性的評(píng)論，盡管是美言，也會(huì)給人唐突、強(qiáng)加的感覺。對(duì)以上那番話，美國(guó)女教師感到難堪的是pretty和good兩個(gè)詞。在那種場(chǎng)合，介紹應(yīng)該突出背介紹人的身份、學(xué)歷、職務(wù)等，而不應(yīng)該是外貌和抽象的評(píng)論。相比之下，如果把pretty和good改成實(shí)際教育背景和經(jīng)歷，這樣的介紹句比較客觀，令人容易接受。

比較下面改變措辭的介紹：

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm delighted to introduce to you a new teacher from the USA., Miss Ann Brown. She is a doctor of American Literature with experience of teaching English as a Foreign Language.

特別忠告：介紹客人要介紹客觀事實(shí)，不要主觀評(píng)論。要注重身份，不要著眼外貌。

第二則：一位美國(guó)同事感冒了，中國(guó)同事表示關(guān)心

Chinese: You look pale. What's the matter?

American: I'm feeling sick. A cold, maybe.

Chinese: Go and see the doctor. Drink more water. D you take any pills? Chinese medicine works wonderful. Would you like to try? Put on more clothes. Have a good rest.

American: You are not my mother, are you?

文化差異：美國(guó)人比較看中個(gè)人的獨(dú)立性。受人照顧往往被視為弱者。給對(duì)方出主意或提建議時(shí)，不能使對(duì)方認(rèn)為自己小看他的能力。美國(guó)人對(duì)上面第一句話的反應(yīng)通常是"Take care of yourself. I hope you'll be better soon."不必教人怎么做。中國(guó)人則以出主意提建議表示關(guān)心，而且以兄弟姐妹或父母親人的口吻，或以過來人的口氣，這對(duì)美國(guó)人行不通。

特別忠告：對(duì)病人表示關(guān)心，不必盡提建議。

可以使用下列語句：

(1)I'm sorry to hear that (you've got a bad cold).

(2)I hope you'll be all right very soon.

(3)Take extra care of yourself.

(4)That's too bad. What's the matter?

(5)How are you feeling now?

第三則：有空來坐坐

一位美國(guó)教師在中國(guó)任教，中國(guó)同事總是對(duì)她說：“有空來坐坐”。可是，半年過去了，美國(guó)同事從來沒有上過門。中國(guó)同事又對(duì)她說：“我真的歡迎你來家里坐坐。如果沒空的話，隨時(shí)打電話來聊聊也行。”一年下來，美國(guó)同事既沒有來電話，也沒有來訪。奇怪的事，這位美國(guó)人常為沒人邀請(qǐng)她而苦惱。

文化差異：中國(guó)親朋好友合同事之間的串門很隨便，邀請(qǐng)別人來訪無需為對(duì)方確定時(shí)間，自己去探訪別人無需鄭重其事征得同意。美國(guó)人則沒有串門的習(xí)慣。一年內(nèi)遇到大節(jié)日，親朋好友才到家里聚一聚。平時(shí)如果有事上門，實(shí)現(xiàn)要有時(shí)間確切的預(yù)約。沒有得到對(duì)方的應(yīng)允，隨時(shí)隨地隨便上門時(shí)不禮貌的行為。因此，美國(guó)同事對(duì)“有空來坐坐”這句話只當(dāng)作虛禮客套，不當(dāng)作正式邀請(qǐng)。無事打電話閑聊也是美國(guó)人視為打亂別人私人時(shí)間和活動(dòng)安排的毛是行為。若想邀請(qǐng)美國(guó)人上門，應(yīng)當(dāng)誠(chéng)意的于對(duì)方商定一個(gè)互相都方便的時(shí)間。

特別忠告：有心約會(huì)要主動(dòng)約時(shí)間地點(diǎn)。